I feel miserable today. Everything seems to falling apart. I have lost the most important person in my life, whom I will never ever get to see or talk to.

To cope a loss is not easy. I have tried, yes I have tried to kick myself up and get going, but every time I kick myself up I just fall even harder.

Lost any and all interests. I don't know how will I ever be over come this.

It has been awful.

Sorry folks that you have to read this depressive post.

Going back to the house issue, it was first listed at $249K. After reducing the price a few times, it was listed at $235K at the end. With the way market has been, and the house being on the market for months, real estate agents plus people I know who are in the housing construction business said that the house wouldn’t fetch more than 190K in current market. My outstanding mortgage is around $200K.

Even in a perfect scenario, lets say I get an offer of $190K. After paying 6% agent fees, it would be off by $21,400 to cover the outstanding mortgage. I would have to come up with $10,700 out of my pocket for my share of the mortgage to cover the difference.

Being a bit more optimistic lets say that there is an offer of $200K, after the expenses I would be $6K in the hole.

After doing the math, I decided to give up on the house so I could move on with my life. I knew until I either sell or hand over the house to ex, she would not just go away.

I lost money in this transaction, but I can always make money and start fresh. All I wanted to do was get done with this and start my life with SO. That, however, doesn’t seem to materialize now since she has decided to move on thinking that I was taking care of the ex just because I couldn’t sell the house and that I am handing it over.

Is my decision justified to give up the house? Or is it a financial mistake?

Thank you all for a nice and warm welcome.

I met my SO while I was separated but not divorced. Both of us were not looking for a relationship but we clicked and so it began. It took a little less than two years to get my divorce done. It took longer than I expected due to lack of cooperation from ex. First she wanted everything; house, car, furniture and what ever she could get hold of. Once she figured that I wouldn’t let go of the house, she wanted to sell the house before filing for divorce but never agreed to sign the papers to list the house. After stretching out as far as she could, she finally signed on the divorce paper. She got the car but house was a split. I wanted to get the divorce done as soon as possible and not let it stretch out for three to four years as I have heard different stories about how bad one can get. Regardless of my attempt to get it done sooner, it did take longer than I thought. I have never denied that to anyone.

As I was trying to list the house, it got flooded when sum-pump gave up. It took a couple of months to get the house ready with insurance inspection and everything else. With in few weeks sum-pump gave up the second time and house was flooded though it was not as bad as the first flood. During that time, I had moved to a different city but with the same company. I wanted to move so that I could be as far away from ex as I could. I wanted to leave everything behind and start a new life.

Finally, the house was listed. Just before the house was listed, ex offered me some money for the house. I refused to take it for few reasons. First, I didn’t want her to have the house, second I thought I could sell the house and third I didn’t want to upset my current SO. Little that I knew the housing market would tumble badly. Over the period of almost a year there were not a single offer made even after reducing price.

After thinking it through and calculating numbers I knew that I wouldn’t see a penny from that house because of the current housing market. I was legally obligated to pay my share of the mortgage. I was losing money on the both end. I had three options at my hand, sell the house, file for a bankruptcy or hand over the house to ex. I tried selling the house but it didn’t sell, I didn’t want to file for a bankruptcy. At that time, I decided to hand over the house to ex to cut my financial loss. She took months, making one excuse after another to refinance. I had it enough so I asked for mediation. Finally she got a loan to refinance and I signed ‘quit claim deed’.

In the mean time, my current SO, came to know that her cousin bought a house in a neighborhood close to where I was trying to sell. She was furious that her cousin could buy a house but I couldn’t sell one. Stating that I took years to get a divorce and more to sell the house and with few other reasons she decided to end our relationship. It is easier to buy in a buyers market and hard to sell. Isn’t that right?

I have to say that I did make few mistakes. First and foremost, I didn’t tell my SO the full extend of divorce procedure thinking that I would be adding unnecessary stress to her on top of what she had. Looking back now I should have shared it with her.

It just makes me wonder, with all said and done, where did I go wrong? I am divorced. House did not sell and to cut my loss I had to give it up. Was this a bad financial decision? What would you do if you were in such a situation? Was it my fault that the housing market is bad? Let me hear the good, the bad and the ugly. I am all prepared for it.

Now, moving forward, I have learned few great lessons and I hope to learn more here with any and all help of you all. I have to start from scratch now, financially that is. I have a decent job, been with the same company for over ten years now. May be I need to start fresh all over again. May be it is time for a new job, new city and a new beginning.

Thank you for reading this lengthy post.